What to do when it’s a friend?

This post has been lingering in the back of my mind for some time now. Between school and personal struggles, it seems that it is constantly forgotten. However, this time I am determined to finally get all my thoughts out.

 

We all have personal struggles and different ways we are able to be tempted

 

To me, I think we always prepare to meet these trails of faith or will by picturing someone or something we know is bad. Someone who we can just tell is going to guide us down the wrong road. But what if it is a friend? How can we prepare for the bitter wrenching feeling when we suddenly come to the conclusion that our inner struggle all started with a friend?

I know I wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t in the least. Like everyone, I have had my fair share of trials in my life. They all have looked and felt different. They had one thing that was always in common. That is that I wasn’t prepared. For me, the person who seems to have a plan for everything, that is both an eye-opener and a blow.

I think about all the times that I could have prepared myself better, just by simply reading more scriptures, spending more time asking in prayer, or even just keeping my mind and heart open.

Realizing this now, I don’t think it is any mistake. I think in a way, we are all underprepared for our trials. Our temptations. They are supposed to make us all the wiser, but it still would feel good if I had scheduled on when to expect hard times……..but I think we all know that life is unexpected.

For the past three weeks, everything unexpected has been happening. For one, I lost a friend…..or I don’t what to call her now. She was a friend at one time, but then she slowly turned into a person who never hesitated to bring me down. I think that is called toxic…..and that is what she was. However, this post is not about her or for her. Maybe later I will have enough courage to write about my experiences facing a person who I once called a friend and having to tell her that she was not my friend……..and she never had been.

But while this post is similar, it is not about that. This post I wrote because one trial I have been facing came from a friend. A friend.

She made a very very bad choice, and I saw her do it. And then my inner battle started. Should I tell because I know it is wrong? Should I not because she is my friend and maybe I can help her become better?

For weeks these questions have endlessly filled my mind while at school, home, and even at church.

There has seemed to be no escape. I have prayed for answers, but God has not given me any.

The choice was mine.

This battle that I was fighting trying to decide what to do, was brought on because I knew her. She was my friend. She was a person who I expected to warn me of bad things, not to do them.

It is scary realizing that someone you depended on and trusted, now has you facing a choice you have to make.

You cannot leave it unanswered.

So I came to the conclusion that it was in both of our best interest to tell. I chose someone I really trusted, who could handle this certain issue the way it needed to be handled.

Then I told her.

I expected rebuke for waiting three weeks, surprise that I had turned in a friend, or even disbelief that she had done something like that.

I received none of that.

Instead, I received a simple, “Ok, I have it handled.” ……………..from both her and God.

Now the weight of carrying around a secret like that was gone, and I was able to pray thankfully because someone I felt like I had been helped to choose the answer I had.

This trial was as unexpected as it was heart-wrenching. Thinking back on it, there is not that much I could have done. She chose her road, and she dragged me down part of it. That doesn’t mean I have any ill will towards her. Instead, I just hope that God can soften her heart and help her realize that doing stuff like that, is not good for anyone or anything.

There are a few ways you can prepare for having a trial or temptation come from a friend. Three main ones I would like to share with you all are:

  1. Good Friends. So I know that this one sounds a little wierd, but make good friends. God puts people in your life for a reason, and sometimes this can be to teach you a lesson. I know that is why she was placed in my life. You cannot aviod trials or temptations that come to a friend. But by learning traits you would like a good friend to have, and even learning from the mistake of befriending someone who does not share your standards at all, can really help you in the future.
  2. Being Open. Sometimes when a friend is going through something hard, they may feel hesitant to share it with you. I know that something or someone must have prompted my friend to do what she did. She was probably going through a hard time but didn’t want to bother me by confiding. By being more open and willing to listen, you can help your friendships grow and avoid hurtful secrets that harm both of you.
  3. Good Example.While some of us are lucky to have good role models like parents, siblings, or friends, other people do not always have these. By being a good example to your friends, it can help them from choosing the wrong path. By being an example and maing good choices, you can influence your friends lives positively.

 

I know I wasn’t prepared for something like that to come from a friend. I expected it to come from someone you would expect trials from. But it didn’t. And now, wiser, I chose friends more carefully.

 

 

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