What to do when it’s a friend?

This post has been lingering in the back of my mind for some time now. Between school and personal struggles, it seems that it is constantly forgotten. However, this time I am determined to finally get all my thoughts out.

 

We all have personal struggles and different ways we are able to be tempted

 

To me, I think we always prepare to meet these trails of faith or will by picturing someone or something we know is bad. Someone who we can just tell is going to guide us down the wrong road. But what if it is a friend? How can we prepare for the bitter wrenching feeling when we suddenly come to the conclusion that our inner struggle all started with a friend?

I know I wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t in the least. Like everyone, I have had my fair share of trials in my life. They all have looked and felt different. They had one thing that was always in common. That is that I wasn’t prepared. For me, the person who seems to have a plan for everything, that is both an eye-opener and a blow.

I think about all the times that I could have prepared myself better, just by simply reading more scriptures, spending more time asking in prayer, or even just keeping my mind and heart open.

Realizing this now, I don’t think it is any mistake. I think in a way, we are all underprepared for our trials. Our temptations. They are supposed to make us all the wiser, but it still would feel good if I had scheduled on when to expect hard times……..but I think we all know that life is unexpected.

For the past three weeks, everything unexpected has been happening. For one, I lost a friend…..or I don’t what to call her now. She was a friend at one time, but then she slowly turned into a person who never hesitated to bring me down. I think that is called toxic…..and that is what she was. However, this post is not about her or for her. Maybe later I will have enough courage to write about my experiences facing a person who I once called a friend and having to tell her that she was not my friend……..and she never had been.

But while this post is similar, it is not about that. This post I wrote because one trial I have been facing came from a friend.ย A friend.

She made a very very bad choice, and I saw her do it. And then my inner battle started. Should I tell because I know it is wrong? Should I not because she is my friend and maybe I can help her become better?

For weeks these questions have endlessly filled my mind while at school, home, and even at church.

There has seemed to be no escape. I have prayed for answers, but God has not given me any.

The choice was mine.

This battle that I was fighting trying to decide what to do, was brought on because I knew her. She was my friend. She was a person who I expected to warn me of bad things, not to do them.

It is scary realizing that someone you depended on and trusted, now has you facing a choice you have to make.

You cannot leave it unanswered.

So I came to the conclusion that it was in both of our best interest to tell. I chose someone I really trusted, who could handle this certain issue the way it needed to be handled.

Then I told her.

I expected rebuke for waiting three weeks, surprise that I had turned in a friend, or even disbelief that she had done something like that.

I received none of that.

Instead, I received a simple, “Ok, I have it handled.” ……………..from both her and God.

Now the weight of carrying around a secret like that was gone, and I was able to pray thankfully because someone I felt like I had been helped to choose the answer I had.

This trial was as unexpected as it was heart-wrenching. Thinking back on it, there is not that much I could have done. She chose her road, and she dragged me down part of it. That doesn’t mean I have any ill will towards her. Instead, I just hope that God can soften her heart and help her realize that doing stuff like that, is not good for anyone or anything.

There are a few ways you can prepare for having a trial or temptation come from a friend. Three main ones I would like to share with you all are:

  1. Good Friends. So I know that this one sounds a little wierd, but make good friends. God puts people in your life for a reason, and sometimes this can be to teach you a lesson. I know that is why she was placed in my life. You cannot aviod trials or temptations that come to a friend. But by learning traits you would like a good friend to have, and even learning from the mistake of befriending someone who does not share your standards at all, can really help you in the future.
  2. Being Open. Sometimes when a friend is going through something hard, they may feel hesitant to share it with you. I know that something or someone must have prompted my friend to do what she did. She was probably going through a hard time but didn’t want to bother me by confiding. By being more open and willing to listen, you can help your friendships grow and avoid hurtful secrets that harm both of you.
  3. Good Example.While some of us are lucky to have good role models like parents, siblings, or friends, other people do not always have these. By being a good example to your friends, it can help them from choosing the wrong path. By being an example and maing good choices, you can influence your friends lives positively.

 

I know I wasn’t prepared for something like that to come from a friend. I expected it to come from someone you would expect trials from. But it didn’t. And now, wiser, I chose friends more carefully.

 

 

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You Don’t Know Your Impact-Don’t Sell Yourself Short

Imagine this: you’ve just gotten home from you first day at your dream job. You did a lot of things, things that you always wanted to do. But you felt like your impact was so small, and it made you feel even smaller. After all, how could someone like you possibly help the world? As you start to feel bad, you don’t hear the “ding” of your email inbox filling with positive comments.

So I felt pumped up to write this post, and let me tell you why.

One of my close friends and I were discussing our favorite blogs. We were joyful to realize that we both had really similar tastes. We shared favorite posts, and how it had made us change this, that, and another. While talking she suddenly said, “Wait! I have another favorite!” Then she pulled out her phone, and eagerly pulled up a site. A very similar site. I was staring suddenly at my site (not this one, my other blog.) where I posted all my poetry. I was startled. What were the chances that she had read my blog and enjoyed it? I nervously explained that it was my blog, wanting to see her reaction. I was not disappointed. Happiness and wonder covered her face, and she excitedly explained so many times my blog had helped her through. I was so touched. I thought my blog was just a place where I let out my feelings, and never hoped that I would have a positive impact.

Thanks to her I started posting on my other blog again……….because I knew that I was touching people’s lives through what I did.

I know that personally, so many bloggers have touched me and helpedย  me to get through that extra mile. I lived on their words, and kept them close to my heart. They helped me get up on my bad days, and thrive on my good ones.

So never sell your work up short just because you can’t see with your eyes the impact you are making.

 

<3, Go change lives!

~Madie G.

A Lesson in Failure-I’ve had a few

In 2018 I have had some very important lessons in failure.

And the thing is, I don’t like to lose. To me, failing is loosing. It makes me doubt some things about myself I was sure I had in solid stone. But the more times you fail and fall down, the more chances you have to build up confidence. So that means, the next time you do it, you are the path to succeeding.

The first lesson in failure I got this year was in February. I had applied to a very interesting place. You took a three-hour class in the mornings or afternoons on one of these subjects: music, art, carpentry, creative writing, and theater. They were known as the best of the best.

And so, I submitted. I was at the point where I wanted a different set of eyes on my work, and more chances to do what I love, not just for fun.

They gave me an interview date, which is the time where I would take a “test” of twenty-one creative answers, submit my portfolio, and have a personal interview with the director.

The day came and I dressed in my absolute favorite outfit. But before I could even get out of the car, I felt the usual anxiety symptoms. There were so many older people between me and the door. They seemed to stare me down as I walked in.

I was suddenly ashamed of my portfolio which I had put so much work and effort into.

After the interview and test, I knew inside that I didn’t think I was going to get in. I had not put my best foot forward, and not expressed what writing had done for me.

I only hoped that my portfolio would give them an insight into my life.

The day came (it had been a month since I had been interviewed) when they said I would receive the news if I had gotten in or yet. I had to go to school that day, and every minute waiting was agony. I rushed out to the car line, and the first question I asked was, “Did I get in?” Of course, I had said a dozen of times that I didn’t care if I had gotten in or not, but at the moment, I wanted it badly.

I was informed that the date had been pushed back further, and I would have to just wait until they made their decision…………………and it only had to be before August.

I was devasted and angry that I didn’t know. Around a month later, with many questions from friends and family, I finally received an email: I had not gotten in.

Instead, I had been waitlisted, which to me, left with no hope. Tons of people were waitlisted, and even if someone dropped out of the program, they might choose someone else.

I felt horrible. My writing apparently was not good enough for them. I had failed.

I carried this failure around in a lump in my stomach: a mass formed of doubt. I wrote one day in my journal, experiencing severe writer’s block, that they had taken away something I valued. This was my writing.

At the time I did not realize that my failure had taught me valuable things.

These included patients, more confidence in my writing, and a sense of freedom that my writing was not confined to a creative writing program.

In fact, if I did get in, I am not entirely sure that I would have liked it.

My second failure this year was recent. My school was looking for a Student Advisory Council Freshmen Rep.

I knew that I just had to run. I adore organizing events and bring people together. When I was three I organized a birthday party for my favorite doll Lucy and blew out the candles on her strawberry cake. (My personal favorite flavor.)

I sent an email, telling a little bit about myself. A couple days later I got an interview date.

I was more confident this time than I had been before about big things like this. I wore one of my favorite shirts and put on my “confidence” jewelry. (Forget-me-not ring, “MG” word letter bracelet, and a peace charm.)

I answered their question the best I could, but having no real experience, I didn’t do that well. I had been passionate, and I could hope that was enough.

After waiting for a few more days, I got what I called the “pity” email. I was really upset and disappointed.

Why hadn’t I been chosen? I was willing, more than, to help out my school.

I was confused. So, I decided to try and change my perspective a little bit more.

I will probably have to let time heal wounds before I come to be at peace with this failure, but I just move on. The more failures you let stop you, the more times in your life you will learn how to quit.

And we should never learn how to quit.

Quick story before I close:

My mom told me this story when I failed in February.

There was this very famous woman boss, or CEO of this large company, and when she was asked why she never let failures slow her down, she told the reporter this. (I am summerizing the story)

“Every night on Sunday when we sat down at the dinner table, my father would ask, ‘What have you failed at this week?’ And we would all give our failures of the week, like bad homework grade, etc. And he would celebrate our failues. Growing up with that mental appriciation, failues never stopped me.”

(Something like that.)

 

So, look at all your failures with new eyes, and celebrate them.

 

Because through them you have learned something amazing: It’s ok to fall down

 

 

Hi, Y’all! I am sorry it has been so long since I last posted!

So much has happened, that I don’t think I can cover it if I try. (And plus it would be over a mile long post too.)

Just three highlights are: I started a new school (which I love, by the way), learned a few lessons in failure, and discovered more about friendship.

That is pretty much what this blog post is going to be like, and hopefully, I can cover anything else later!

So, first off, new school?!?!!? So yes, I started going to a new school three weeks ago.

I was super nervous at first, but I was armed with something I never had in middle school: confidence.

So, after three days I wasn’t too surprised when I declared I loved it.

In middle school I always loathed school. I didn’t have that many friends, and I had a lot of trouble finding people who didn’t make fun of my standards.

However, I love my school and have many great friends………and some not so great. But we will get into that later.

Anyway, I just wanted to squeeze in a quick blog post to tell everyone I will be posting some very cool pictures soon! So keep an eye out for that. โค

NYC TRIP PICTURES!!!!

A couple days ago I got back from my NYC trip, which was awesome! I had such a fun time, and it was such an eye opener.

So the pictures in order are: Skeleton from the Museum of Natural History, Tree near Central Park, cathedral near the hotel, My Fair Lady Broadway Sign, Empire State Building, view from Empire State Building, Street art, Italian Ice in Little Italy.

I’ve always wanted to travel.

New Jersey, Colorado, Oregon, Maine, etc.

After a while I get tired of the same schedules, land marks and people.

When my life is just…………..flat. Nothing really exciting.

Well, next week I am going to NYC.

The farthest I’ve ever been away from home is Philadelphia, but those were never vacation trips. (I’ll explain in another post.)

I’m. Not exactly a city girl, I love the Smokey Mountains, lakes and sunsets.

But there is Broadway! Food! Dozen of chances of photography! Little Italy! China Town!

It may be a little stressful, getting back two days before school starts, but mostly I’m excited.

After so long reading about one of the greatest cities in my county, I finally get to visit.

I’m stoked to say the least. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

Things I Learned in & from Middle School

  1. It doesn’t matter if you are not popular. The world is not all Middle School, so your worth is not rated with friends, likes, and text messages.
  2. True friends are always better. Don’t give up them for anything or anyone.
  3. Your grade is just a number. It doesn’t define you, or what you are capible of. Never believe that a number matters more than you do.
  4. It’s okay if you don’t do things like other people. It’s okay if you don’t drink coffee in class, and dress like the other girls.
  5. Don’t be ashamed if you come into class late. I promise they are not staring and judging you. Well, maybe, but what they think shouldn’t matter, because they don’t why you are late. They don’t know you.
  6. I promise if you get an answer in class wrong, it is not the end of the world. And within a few days, people will have forgotten it even happened at all.
  7. If you stutter in front of a boy, you do not have to go die in the hole of humilation. Be confident that the right boy, won’t care and judge. And if he does, then drop him. Middle School boys are not like all boys, and you shouldn’t give up yet.
  8. Never be friends with that girl who is mean to another one. Remember what it was like before you had friends, and you sat alone at lunch for months.
  9. You have permission to inner squeal when a boy asks for you number. And if no boy does, don’t sweat. They are too afriad to approach such a glorious person. ๐Ÿ™‚
  10. Never forget your person identity . Some people will try to convince you who you are, and you must never forget who you truly are. (I am……..I love…….I believe in……I come from……..I laugh at……….I cry at…….I read……..I listen to…….I eat……, etc.)
  11. Don’t worry about standing out. Wouldn’t it be worse to be just another face on the crowd, wearing the same styles? Dress they way you want to.
  12. Whatever you do, NEVER EVER get a Writing Teacher last block………….they’ll give your good work an F. (True story. A,A,A,B,F. I think she didn’t like me very much. ๐Ÿ˜)
  13. Never judge people. You never know what’s going on in their lives, and you certainly don’t know them inside out.
  14. There are worse things that being a nerd. Because do ya know what? You can be a nerd. You can be (and totes are) beautiful. Stop believing in stereotypes.
  15. Never take Literature with an enthusiastic teacher. They will make you act out Shakespeare being the main female part, where you act it out with two boys. Both of which in the play, “love” you as their parts. (Aye Sweetheart……….=the line that haunted me throughout the rest of year thanks to teasing peers.)

And most importantly, be yourself! Life is easier and more fun that way.